tankerson mcgee

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tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Tue Mar 22, 2011 12:01 am

I know this forum and community is like completely dead, but it's still the best place to post a shitty RPG maker game that only people I consider friends would even begin to enjoy.

masses of the private, I bring you:
A TALE THAT NEVER HAPPENED
the epic story of tankman tankerson "unodostres" mcgee
a tale of unlikely triumph in a land of cacti, final bosses, and sentient staircases

plot summary:
downstairs right that isn't downstairs right gives you some pills and kicks you out of his not-basement and you're a sheriff tank that fights cacti. you go around places kicking cactus ass and eventually steal a planeboat and fly to a remote island and get some magic shoes and go to the final boss then the finaler boss then the finalest boss then the final finalest boss.

screenshots (WIP/BREAKING/CURRENT/INVOLVES LIBYA):

A WORLDMAP WORTH WORSHIPING


YOU WANT ACTION? WE GOT YOUR ACTION! look somewhere else

changelog from previous versions of this story:
+added story
+added plot
+added capitalization (incomplete)
+added gameplay
+added JRPG elements (grinding, multiple bosses, item management, cliche opening and ending, sidequests)
+added planeboats
+added terrorists (trying to capitalize on that infamouse call of duty demographic)
+added useless scenery
+added random levels
+extended gameplay time
+added various game cliches
~improved humor (unsuccessful, trying messy workaround involving giraffes)
~retained important characters
-removed unnecessarily large levels
-horses can get the fuck out of my game

release date:
Q4 2013 Q2 2028 when it's done
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:13 am

YOU WANT A RELEASE? I GOT YOUR RELEASE RIGHT HERE

THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE THAT APPARENTLY DON'T EXIST ANYMORE, SIGFIG FINISHED SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED THAN ASSEMBLING A TOASTER

LINKS:
HAVE SOME MOTHERFUCKING LINKS

HERE, HAVE SOME MORE

IN FACT, HAVE AS MANY AS YOU GODDAMN PLEASE

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, THEY'RE FREE
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Svenne on Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:35 am

Best game ever. Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised Shocked Cool Laughing Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:22 pm

damn straight
this game is the absolute best form of entertainment our society, our civilization, even our species will ever produce
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Jesus on Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:51 pm

I want to play
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:36 pm

as a fictitious deity, i understand this may be troublesome for you
here are my official instructions for holy playing of my game:

ask your spacedad to impregnate an american middle-class single mother

occupy the child, and when you mature it will be revealed to you that you are the first and a half coming of jesus whos mission is to seek and play an archived copy of my game

you will spend the next 20 years in your quest. eventually, crazy motherfuckers will start to follow you and aid your quest. you will calls these motherfuckers "motherfucking disciples"

before you find the game, one of your motherfucking disciples will betray you and turn you in to the TSA (archived files are considered a threat to international travel by this point)

you will be forced to get a full-body scan in an experimental scanner, one that uses 5000000000x the radiation as the current generation and still cannot detect a handgun on a reporter

crowds gather as you are fried alive by the radiation. you will have made the ultimate sacrifice for your people, for god, for the archive

after you dead, your small following explodes in to a world-wide religion: archivism

archivists believe that by seeking out the archive and reciting the binary string for it, jesus1.5 will be able to fulfill his mission, and they will earn themselves a place in heaven1.5 (the RPG maker heaven - as designed by sigfig the prophet)

soon, my ancient dropbox account is found, and the archive data rolls in to heaven1.5 where you are ready to receive it

and then, and only then will you be able to make the shocking realization:
you forgot to install winrar
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Jesus on Thu Mar 24, 2011 1:33 am

Hey, those links weren't there before.

Also, Awesome story bro.
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Svenne on Thu Mar 24, 2011 12:10 pm

Sigfig wrote:you forgot to install 7-zip
Fixed that for you.
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Thu Mar 24, 2011 1:30 pm

open source software is a creation of the devil
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Pielikey on Thu Mar 24, 2011 3:13 pm

god hates programmers
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Thu Mar 24, 2011 3:47 pm

no he just doesn't like it when you give things away for free
nowhere in the bible does it say "be nice to your fellow man" or advocate being charitable in any way
but it says clearly in the book of republicanism 2:14 - "only the rich shall receive entrance in to heaven" and in capitalism 4:13 - "for the free is unholy, and that which is right with god must be paid for"
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Jesus on Thu Mar 24, 2011 8:49 pm

Svenne wrote:
Sigfig wrote:you forgot to install 7-zip
Fixed that for you.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
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Re: tankerson mcgee

Post by Sigfig on Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:54 pm

republicanism 3:9 "and the glory of heaven shall eventually trickle down to lower class hell"
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Re: tankerson mcgee

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